the lost hours

Our days are broken up into chunks of time: work, school, the commute, dinner, bedtime, etc. There are certain times that are acceptable for public socialization; times when we silently approve being out and about, interacting, bumping into others, smiling, not being lonely, etc.

The hours between 8am and 3pm for me are work hours. I'm hardly ever lonely during those hours. I chuckle with co-workers in the staff room, get excited (or frustrated) with my awkward middle-school students, and do lots of things that make me feel productive and super-starish.

Socialization hours usually start at 8pm for twenty and thirty-somethings. Whenever my friends and I have plans, they always start at 8pm. I don't know why this is the magical hour, but it is. No one ever seems to be able to meet for dinner or drinks or a debate party or whatever before 8pm. So my late evening hours are taken care of.

But what about those lost hours? Like between 6:30 and 7:30am when I'm getting ready for work? Or between 4 and 8pm when I'm trying to kill time between work and socialization hour? Or from 10pm until I go to bed? Or early on a Saturday or Sunday morning? You know what those are? Those are family hours. Those are hours when only the people who know and love you best would be with you. The hours when you don't have to have your hair or even your teeth brushed to be interacting with someone. You might not even be doing anything other than co-existing in a room; simply sharing space and energy. Those are hours you don't plan for. They just happen. And if you have a family, and you live with them, you're never lonely during those hours.

Sometimes I hear my married friends complain about the little annoyances of living with their spouse. ("He always leaves the shower curtain open and it gets mildewy." "He plays too many video games." "He farts on me.") Or I hear my friends who are parents complain about their kids. ("They are so loud, running around the house tearing things up." "They never want to eat what I make for dinner." "They have bloody noses all over the pillow case.") And I think, what I wouldn't give to have someone fart on me during one of those lost hours, or to deal with screaming children running through my house. I would take screaming and fighting over silence any day. Any freaking day at all. Anything to fill up those lost hours.