Ok, well I was sitting here staring at the computer screen in this ridiculously expensive internet cafe at my hostel (5 euro for an hour - like 7 US dollars) at 1am, trying to think of something happy and clever and meaningful to post. I know many of you have been reading and enjoying these meandering introspections of mine, for whatever reason. But I have no clever introspection today, just a slight touch of lonliness.
Maybe it's being in this party city for 4 days. I felt beautiful in Paris. Here, I just feel like a sloppy American. Amsterdam is nice, but everyone is just busy and loud all the time. It's a bit easy to get swept underfoot emotionally, if one isn't careful.
Before I left, many friends and acquaintences tried to reassure me, saying, "Oh don't worry about being alone in Europe. Lots of people travel alone. You'll meet people." I've met people, but NO ONE is alone. In one whole week, I haven't met one single person travelling alone. Everyone I've met I've had to approach in their group or pair and introduce myself and basically invite myself into their company. I find myself offering to buy drinks for people all the time just to pay them for their company. So yes, I've had lots of fun with lots of different people so far, but after the fun's over, they leave. They go back to their best friend or boyfriend or group of 10 people and laugh all the way home. And I put in my ipod and begin playing my daily game of ok-how-the-bonkers-do-I-get-home-now? all by myself.
Don't feel sorry for me. Don't sit there and go, "Aw." Because I should be fine. I'm courageous, right? That's what everyone says. "Wow, you're travelling for 6 weeks all alone? How brave! I'm jealous!" No you're not, liar. If you were jealous, you'd do it. There's a reason you're all with someone else. So once again, I'm the victorious, courageous, brave one who is all alone. What good is courage when all you want is to laugh with a good friend?
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Uncle traveling Melanie.
I am just a lowely fraggle on the rock, so what do I know, but first let me tell you --- I am not writing because I feel sorry for you. Well, not completely. Here's what I think. So what if no one esle is traveling alone. You are, and that's all that matters. And, yes I do envy you. I think "What an adventure you will have to look back on, even if the whole time you are alone. You have seen at least some of Europe by now, and I have seen NONE. But I don't have the courage to do what you are doing. I would be too afraid I would not have anything to say to people, so I wouldn't go up to anyone, especially in a group. That's very brave. I wish I could do that!! Remember, even if you are alone --- It's only 6 weeks of your life, braving it out. You have people back at home. And if you ever need to talk to someone who cares about you back here, you have plenty of people including me (ANYTIME). Also, so what if you have to buy them drinks. It gets you talking right? I bet they will love to tell their friends about the courageous girl they met in Paris/Amsterdam or wherever with the nerve to come to Europe and travel alone. So, even if all your adventures are solo from here on, I still can't wait to hear about them!!!! --And see pictures.
You are probably over this already and this would be a moot point. Just keep in mind --- here all of us fraggles are sitting on the rock just reading about your adventures as you are actually living them. Vive la Europe!!!
Laurie
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