America the beautiful

Well, I'm no longer Uncle travelling Mel, I'm just Mel. But I don't want to stop blogging. And my fans are begging for more. :)

So what has it been like returning to the U.S.; to my "real" life? Well, I hope you have learned enough about me now to know that I treat every moment of life as real life, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. In the airport on the way back, I waited for 2 hours in the immigration/customs line. People were so cranky. They were scheming about how to get into the shortest line, and then very upset when any line moved faster than theirs. They complained about their sore legs, they worried about making their connecting flights, they said they were hungry, tired, and ready to go home. I felt these things as well. But I kept hearing J.J.'s voice in my head saying, "Mel, can you affirm even this moment? Can you love life while waiting in this airport line?" I said yes in my head. Yes I can. And I will. And I began to look around and enjoy watching people. When my mental space wasn't crowded with worries and complaints, I had room to appreciate all that was going on around me. I thought of how there were so many people waiting in this line who are coming to visit America, maybe for the first time. I thought of how excited they must be, just like I was in the Paris airport 6 weeks ago. I felt excited for them, and silently hoped they would have wonderful time here.

I have been quite overwhelmed by the little things since returning. I know I was only in Western Europe, and it's not like I'm returning from a 2 year stint in the peace corps in Zambia or anything, but it still feels like an adjustment. Driving on the beltway, for example. Wow. It's so much faster than I remember it. And ads - all of a sudden I'm accosted with images of anorexic-looking women again, and magazines full of meaningless celebrity gossip. I had forgotten how obsessed with we are with that plastic image here. Just sitting in the airport, I watched the news for the first time all summer, and heard about a hurricane, an earthquake, a shooting, and some kind of prison case - all within about 4 minutes. Do we really need to know all that's going on? I used to say yes for sure, that it was important to stay informed, but now I don't know. But the biggest thing I've had to adjust to is my phone. I had gotten so used to being unreachable, and I loved it. Since I've returned, my phone has been blowing up with texts and calls. This is wonderful, because it makes me feel very loved that so many people missed me. But I'm not quite sure how to handle this constant communication. Sometimes I just put my phone in the other room and ignore it. I have become used to silence in my head, and now I need it. This morning I had breakfast with a friend, and he had to be somewhere so we had to eat very fast and rush out. It was jarring. I have spent the entire summer leisurely drinking cappuccino (spelling?) and eating chocolate croissants until I felt like getting up to do something. This downing coffee, waffles, bacon, and OJ in 15 minutes made me feel sick, and not just physically.

But I am trying to affirm all of these moments as well. Because anyone can be happy and peaceful in a city like Paris. It's not hard to think life is beautiful when surrounded by gorgeous architechture and art. It's not hard to be un-stressed when the most difficult decision you have to make in a day is which flavor gelatto to get this time. But can I keep that bliss on the beltway? Can I continue to love everyone? Even impersonal American beauracracies? Can you?