ode to amsterdam

Anyway, Amsterdam. Hmmm. . . what can I possibly say about Amsterdam that I wish to be posted publicly on a website that is read by my family and many of my colleagues? Well, think of the craziest party you've ever been to - I mean one that went all night and where you woke up on some street that you've never been on before - now multiply it by 100, add some Austrailians on vacation, and legalize a whole lotta stuff that's not legal anywhere else (bad stuff like jay-walking) and you are coming close to what it's like here. Anyway, this is quite the place. I met an Australian couple yesterday and we've been touring the city together ever since. Think we'll try to do something halfway educational today and maybe see the Anne Frank house. . . then again, maybe not. Fries drenched in mayonaise anyone?

Funny story: We were walking through Vondelpark today (still in Amsterdam), and noticed a big group of guys throwing rocks into the canal at their soccer ball. It had fallen into the canal and floated to the other side, and they were pretty broken up about the end of their game. I said as I walked by, "Well you're not going to get it like that - jump in!" I was kidding. He started to take his jacket off, then looked at me and said, "You jump in. I pay you 5 euro." I lifted my hand in the air as though to say, "Higher." He said, "20 euro." Higher. "50 euro." I waved my hand and started to walk away. He yelled "Jump in and get our ball and I pay you 100 euro." Now it should be mentioned here that the canals in Amsterdam are not necessarily your suburban backyard swimming pool. There was garbage and what looked like a little bit of oil, and you couldn't see the bottom. God knows what the hell was alive in there - or worse, dead. I looked long and hard at that gray water, and long and hard at that orange soccer ball just yards away, and thought about how 100 euro was an entire day's budget, and about how I'd overspent my daily budget for the last 3 days in a row, and about what a good picture it would be of me swimming in the canal and possibly getting arrested, and then said, "Let me see the money first." He and his friends all emptied their pockets and started gathering money. I took off my bag and my shoes. . . then they said they could only come up with 60 euro, and I simply wouldn't do it for less than 100. I mean, a girl's gotta have standards folks. And that was how I almost died in a canal in Amsterdam.